Inspirational, funny, or just downright STUPID, here they are...
There's some "obscene language" in here, but wadda expect? Life's obscene. But if you're easily offended, go back to the index.
"And if your head explodes, with dark forebodings, too,
I'll see you on the dark side of the moon..."
- Pink Floyd,
"Brain Damage",
Dark Side of the Moon
"I didn't claw my way up the food chain to eat vegetables!"
-Bumper Sticker
"I would rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special."
-Shelby
Steel Magnolias
"0-60...maybe"
-Bumper Sticker on battered old car
"Hey, she-bitch. Let's go."
-Ash (Bruce Cambell)
Army of Darkness
"Always stand up for what you believe in. But never throw the first punch."
-My mother (If she'd just take her own advice)
"If God had intended us to drive on-road, he would have paved the world"
-Bumper sticker seen on large, muddy pick-up truck
"At night my mind does not much care
If what it thinks is here or there.
It tells me stories it invents
And makes up things that don't make sense.
I don't know why it does this stuff.
The real world seems quite weird enough."
-From The Indespensible Calvin and Hobbes
"Eagles may soar, but weasel's don't get sucked into jet engines."
-Bumper Sticker
"And Whitney! Why can't she be like every other teenager. For prom night she stayed home and field stripped an AK-47."
-Jack Slater
Last Action Hero
Now that's a dame after my own heart...
"A faint heart never fucked a pig."
-Commander Chester "Whitey" Mack, of the USS Lapon
Known for his recklessness and daring
Used as Lapon's motto during the Cold War
"A faint heart never won a fair maiden."
-Whitey Mack's answer when asked
about the Lapon's motto by an admiral
"Lock and load!"
-Any grunt, any recent war
"And so it comes to be
that the soothing light
at the end of your tunnel
is just the freight train coming your way..."
-Metallica
"No Leaf Clover"
S&M
"In the words of my generation, UP YOOOUUUURRRRRSS!"
-Russell Casse
Independence Day
R: "What's that for?" (points at bat)
L: "I'm goin' out like I came in, kickin' an' screamin'!"
R: "Lister, you can't whack Death on the head!"
L: "He comes near me, I'm gonna rip his nipples off!"
-Arnold Rimmer and Dave Lister
"Future Echoes", Red Dwarf (BBC)
"That a nice little nothing you're almost wearing."
-James Bond
Diamonds are Forever
"In the beginning the Universe was created.
This has made many people very and been widely regarded as a bad move."
-The Restauraunt at The End of the Universe"
by Douglas Adams
"What do you care what other people think?"
-Richard P. Feyman
"Search down deep in your soul and think of your worst nightmare... And that won't even come close to him when he gets pissed."
-Michael Jennings
On Deadly Ground
"Thank you for smoking. Your early demise will help stabilize Social Security."
-Anonymous
"There's always one more bug."
-Lubarsky's Law of Cybernetic Entomology
"A man's only as old as the woman he feels."
- Groucho Marks
"Goddamnit, I knew I should've listened to my mother...I could've been a cosmetic surgeon, five hundred thou a year, up to my neck in tits and ass."
- Jack
Romancing the Stone
"Wake up! Time to die!"
-Leon
Blade Runner
Virgil "Bud" Brigman: "God, I hate that bitch. "
Alan "Hippy" Carnes: "You probably shouldn't have married her then. "
-The Abyss
"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you."
-Ezekiel 25:17
As quoted by Jules in Pulp Fiction
"But if they catch you in the back seat,
tryin' to pick her up,
they'll send you back to mother in a cardboard box!"
- Pink Floyd,
"Run Like Hell",
The Wall, part 2
"Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen. "
-John Patrick Mason (Sean Connery)
The Rock
"Life's too short to ride with ugly women"
-Helmet Sticker
"You're gonna regret this the rest of your life . . . both seconds of it."
-John Spartan
Demolition Man
"Wave upon wave of demented avengers
marched cheerfully out of obscurity into the dream."
-Pink Floyd
"Sheep"
Animals
"Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't."
-Bumper Sticker
"Flowers are the fastest way to a woman's heart. Well, actually, the fastest way is through her rib cage, but flowers are a lot less messy."
-Maximillian
Vampire in Brooklyn
"Gun control is using both hands"
-Bumper Sticker
"If women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy."
-Red Green
The Red Green Show
"I wonder if you'd drive any better with THAT CELL PHONE UP YOUR BUTT!"
-Bumper Sticker
"You make me smash the clock and feel
I'd rather die behind the wheel.
Time was never on my side
So on my whole lifetime."
-Metallica
"Outlaw Torn"
S&M
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